W T UFO!
by CrumpetCapers
Summary: An unlikely duo are stuck together when they get separated from the rest of the gang on Halloween night. Jett was convinced he might encounter vampires and werewolves, but never the UFO that he and Logan ultimately stumbled upon. Zany one-shot crack-fic. *Complete*


**A/N: I had to do at least one crack-fic, Halloween one-shot this year. This one is dedicated to my on-line friend; trannce sea. =^.^=**

**I do not own Big Time Rush. I only own the aliens.**

**WT UFO?! is rated T for alien attempt at profanity and Jettgan.**

**xxx**

"This is going to be the best Halloween ever!" Carlos squealed.

"Yeah, but you say that every year," Kendall reminded him.

"True. But, I've never been Zorro before," he said with a mysterious quirk of an eyebrow.

"Also true," Kendall agreed with a smirk.

"Hey, has anyone seen my claws?" James asked, frantically digging through the sofa cushions. He was going as Wolverine this year.

"Yep. They're in there somewhere...I sat on those a while ago," Kendall said, rubbing his sore thigh. He reached over to where he sat earlier, and handed them to James.

"Thanks!" James said, running off. "Ahhhh!" came a high-pitched cry.

"Guess he saw my head again," said Kendall.

"Kendall! Get this creepy thing out of the bedroom!" James yelled.

Kendall laughed and went to retrieve the Ichabod Crane costume.

"Logan, are you going to use that really cool silver face paint that Kelly gave you?" Carlos asked.

"I guess so," he said uncertainly, "but, are you guys sure that I won't look like a Hershey's kiss?"

"I think that you would make an adorable Hershey's kiss," Camille said, entering the apartment dressed as Frankie from Monster High.

"Well, look at you, Camille," Logan said seductively, spinning around her with a goofy grin.

"Why thank you, Logan," she said blushing. "I guess I'll just go down stairs and warn the others that you boys are running late."

James came stomping through. "We're not running late, you're running early," he snapped.

"Sorry," Logan apologized, "we're a bit unorganized this year," he said, rolling his eyes in James' direction.

"Just give us one half-hour, Camille!" Kendall said, running by with his head in hand

Katie came out of her room dressed as a gangster, pin-striped suit and all, and blew on the nozzle of her gun. "Wow! Cool costume, Katie!" Camille said. "Wanna' go down and wait with me?"

"Sure," she said.

By the time the guys came down to the lobby, the group had grown from six people, to twelve. A variety of tenants at the Palmwoods had managed to join them, when they heard about the party they were heading to.

"Whoa! Where did all these people come from?" Carlos asked.

"I told them the more, the merrier," Camille said with a shrug. "Is that you in there, Kendall?"

"Mmmm-hmmm. Let's go then," Kendall garbled impatiently as he headed for the exit. He ran into a potted plant, and twirled around only to run right into a wall. The small holes he was peeking through in his shirt were hindering his vision.

"Ooh, let me help you there, Kendall," Carlos said heroically in his Zorro costume.

"Logan, you look so sexy in that jumpsuit," Camille said, batting her eyelashes.

"Thanks," he said, blushing beneath his silver make-up.

They all tried to squeeze out the lobby doors at the same time, some experiencing difficulty seeing through their masks. Bitters tossed back a handful of candy corn and shook his head as he watched. Carlos snagged a handful of the candy corn from the dish while he was distracted.

"Have a Palmwoods Halloween!" he called after them.

The group made their way down to the lot and stood in a huddle. "Is everyone here?" Kendall asked from beneath the shirt.

"I think so," Katie said, scanning the crowd, "but how would anyone know?"

A few more kids in costumes came to stand with them. "Do we know you?" Carlos asked. The witch, robot and vampire just shrugged. The group had now grown to fifteen.

"Okay, are we driving, or what?" James asked.

"Naw, lets just walk," Katie suggested, "it's just right up the road."

They all mumbled an agreement, and turned to follow one another.

"Are you sure that I look like an actual extra-terrestrial, and _not _a Hershey's kiss?" Logan asked for the fourth time.

"I'm positive!" Carlos exclaimed. "You look sweet!" Logan grimaced, knowing what was coming next.

"Sweet like a Hershey's kiss!" James teased, jabbing him in the ribs.

"Ha ha, you mean like that guy?!" Carlos asked, pointing to a figure heading their way.

"Waaaaait uuuup!" the familiar voice shouted.

They all turned to see a teen boy in an all-silver, alien costume approach. Logan's face fell. The costume was identical to his, with the exception that his jumpsuit was black not silver. The silver belt, collar, boots and face paint were definitely the same.

"Whew, that was a close one," the boy said, standing right next to Logan. He looked the other alien up and down. "Take me to your leader," he said in his best alien voice.

"Jett?" Kendall asked, peering through his eye-holes in astonishment. "You're so...so _silver_!" he said trying to suppress a giggle, but failing. He held where his belly actually was, and pointed. "The new-age tin-man!"

"Shut up, you're jealous," he said with a pout "You look much better than usual in that costume, by the way."

"Aw, man," Logan whined to Kendall, "why did Jett have to be an alien, too?"

Kendall was still laughing, so Logan stomped over to interrupt Carlos' conversation with a mermaid and point him toward Jett. Carlos' eyes bugged.

"Uhh...Jett's a spaceman too?" he cried.

"Do you have to call us _spacemen_?" Logan complained in a high voice, "it sounds so-so amateur!" He left and stomped over to James next.

"Sorry!" Carlos said in a small voice.

Logan elbowed James and he spun on him, claws engaged for battle. "Wuh! Take it easy with those things, James!"

"Oh, right. Forgot who I was for a moment there," James said, attempting to smooth down his bangs out of habit, but raking his own cheek. "Ow! I keep doing that!" he scoffed in a shrill tone. He snapped the mask back on to hide the new marks.

Jett sauntered back to Logan, looking James over critically. "Wolverine?" he asked, arching his silver brows.

"As if there were any doubt!" James snapped.

Logan was glaring at Jett now. Jett looked at Logan, catching the attitude. "I think someone else here has his silver skivvies in a bunch" he said smugly.

"_What?!"_ Logan asked, rolling his eyes. "Everyone knew that I was going to be an alien, and you deliberately chose the same costume! Why?!"

"I did no such thing!" Jett retorted with a huff. "Tell him Camille," he said, noticing that she had just joined them.

"Um Logan, he kind of did have his costume planned for a while now," she said apologetically.

"Well, why didn't anyone mention it to _me?!"_ he asked, with a huff.

She shrugged. "I guess I didn't really think it would matter that much. I figured there are many extra-terrestrial beings out there, somewhere. Besides, none of them are as cute as you," she said, wrapping an arm around Logan's waist.

Logan gave her a big dimpled grin, and it was Jett's turn to roll his eyes. "See? There are many E.T.s , and you're just making a big deal over nothing, just because you know my suit's better," Jett said arrogantly, popping his silver space collar high around his jaw.

"Phifff! You look like a disco ball!" Logan scoffed.

"Do not! You look like you forgot the rest of your suit! You know I'm a better-looking extra-terrestrial than you, that's-"

"Boys!" Camille shouted, intervening and trying to separate them. "Let's just make this a special night."

They nodded guiltily. "Oh, all right," Logan conceded. "Just don't hang with me," he said to Jett.

"Wasn't planning on it," Jett said with a yawn. Logan groaned, and tugged Camille along to find Kendall.

"Can we just get going?" Logan asked him impatiently.

"Right, just let me go get my head," he said, reaching for it off of the stone wall.

"I hope that one has better hair," Jett said.

"You're one to talk," Kendall said with a smirk, "your head is only filled with thoughts of yourself."

Logan looked around to see that within the few minutes they were outside, the crowd had grown to around twenty-five.

They headed down the road single-file, creating a lengthy line, when suddenly a carload of teenagers veered toward them. The group scattered helter-skelter, while the teens laughed wickedly and threw eggs in their direction.

"Oh, that's mature!" Kendall shouted after the squealing car, wiping the egg-goo off his boot with a leaf. When he turned around, many of the gang had disappeared. "Guys?" he called.

Logan was one of the missing and had tumbled over a ravine, head-over-heels, landing at the bottom of a hill. He laid there, sprawled flat on his back and blinking up at the night sky. He sat up and shook his head, hoping to clear the ringing in his ears.

"Uh, guys?" he asked timidly.

He could hear voices in the distance, and he stood trying to track them. They were coming from somewhere up high.

"Guys!" he called louder. The voices were growing fainter. He fought to claw his way back up the hill, but he kept slipping back down in the shiny silver boots. "Guys! Wait up!"

"Logan?"

He spun around wildly. "Stand back! I have a ray-gun, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

Jett came out of the shadows, his silver suit illuminated by the moon and both hands raised.

"I too have a ray-gun Logan, but does it really have to come to this? Look, I don't think your suit is really _that _bad."

"_**Jett?!"**_ Logan cried in exasperation, lowering the toy gun. He rolled his eyes. "What are the odds?"

"Obviously pretty good, considering we are the only two aliens and we both ended up in the same ditch," Jett said logically.

"Never mind!" Logan said. "Let's just hurry up and catch up to the others!"

"There's a flatter route over that way," Jett said, pointing.

"Are you sure?" Logan asked skeptically, eying the dense brush.

"Yep," Jett said, swaggering in the designated direction. Logan followed behind, pausing occasionally to smack the annoying space collar from his line of vision.

Jett continued to lead, grumbling about the branches snagging on his silver fabric, when he suddenly halted, resulting in Logan slamming into the back of him.

"What's the hold-up?" Logan asked irritably. He craned his head around, seeing nothing.

"I distinctly saw a glowing light up ahead," Jett whispered.

"But, I don't see anything. It's probably just a reflection from that Renyold's-Wrap suit."

"Very funny. I'm telling you the truth," he insisted. "I brought a clove of garlic and a stake in my belt, in case we meet with vampires or werewolves. Could you help me get them out?"

"No! There's no such thing and-"

"Hush!" Jett whisper-yelled. He held up a palm to silence him. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Logan strained his ears to hear. There was a high-pitched whirring sound above. Both boys crouched behind a tree, staring up at the sky.

"I cant't believe that I am sharing this with you of all people, but I'm really sc-scared here, Jett," Logan whispered, his knees knocking together violently.

Jett was peeking out from around the tree. He threw a casual arm around Logan. "Well, if it makes you feel any better little buddy, I'm about to pee my pants here. But, it's understandable that you, being the weaker of us two, would turn to me for protection."

Logan snarled at him. "Shut. Up. Jett."

Suddenly, criss-cross beams of bright white light, swung back and forth, hitting their faces and making them hiss in pain. They shielded their eyes and leaned into one another for support.

"Ow! Too bright!" Logan squeaked.

"What in the world, is that?!" Jett asked, as the lights moved slowly away.

"More like what, _out_ of the world, is that?" Logan corrected.

The disc overhead, glowed with spinning lights, and hovered with one blinding beam fixed directly on the boys below. They froze in fear, realizing there was nowhere to go and not be seen. It slowly descended at a precarious angle, then landed in the open field on what appeared to float on a cushion of air.

A door slid open on the side, and a reverberating voice sounded from the opening. "Stay where you are! Running is futile! You are captured!"

"_**What? Ruuuun!" **_Logan shrieked, attempting to sprint away in the cumbersome boots. Jett just watched him with big eyes.

A net made only of pinpoints of light, fell over Logan, entrapping him and freezing him in place. Logan's eyes, as wide as saucers, darted back and forth in a panic. "I-I can't move my body! I'm paralyzed!"

"They said don't run," Jett said matter-of-factly.

"And you listened?! Are you crazy?!" Logan cried.

"Well, I'm not the one captured in a virtual net," he said, running his hands through the dots of light with fascination.

"For-for crying out loud, Jett! Do something! How can you be afraid of vampires and werewolves that don't even exist, but you won't run away from extra-terrestrials?!"

"Too bad it didn't freeze your mouth," Jett mumbled. He stepped out from behind the tree with his hands up. "Uh...we come in peace?" he said to the ship.

"Silence!" the voice said. Jett nodded.

A set of stairs were lowered and before they could even blink, they were surrounded by silvery creatures with big almond-shaped black eyes. They all looked remarkably alike with the exception of weight and height. Logan whimpered than fainted, still frozen in place. Jett laughed nervously. The closest alien studied Jett curiously.

"Why are you here?" it asked.

"Pardon?" said Jett. "We might ask you the same thing. You are the ones that stopped us on the way to a party."

The alien tilted its head and blinked once, emitting a low flash of light. "Did you just take my picture?" Jett asked, smoothing the sides of his silvery hair. "Am I going to be famous somewhere in space?"

"Of course, you dumbazz! That's what we do, take pixels of inferior beings," it said.

"Who are you implying is inferior? And, did you just call me a dumbass?" Jett asked indignantly.

"Dumb_azz._What is a dumbass? Wait, don't answer yet," it said, moving closer to Jett. "Speak into the circle on my chest."

Logan began to stir from his fading net of lights. The aliens pulled out their many weapons and trained them on the boy. Logan opened his eyes in horror, the sound of a small wounded animal escaping his throat, before passing back out. He hit the ground with a thump, the lights no longer encircling him.

"What's his problem?" another alien asked.

"He's a bit high-strung," Jett explained.

"_Owwww..." _Logan groaned, clamoring to his feet. "Don't shoot!" he cried when he saw the weapons still pointed directly at him. He raised shaking hands high above his head. The aliens laughed.

"You two aren't from here. You don't look like the other earthlings. Now, whose the bezturd who sent you to stop us?" the lead alien asked. "Take us to your leader."

Logan slowly lowered his hands. "Wait, you guys actually use that phrase? And, did you just call someone a turd?"

"I said bezturd. What is a turd?"

"Never mind," Logan said, shaking his head.

"Who is your leader?" the alien repeated.

"Um...um!" Logan said, looking at Jett for help. "We don't really have a leader to take you to...I mean the closest we could come is the President of the United States, but try getting in to see him. Or in my particular case, I guess you could say Gustavo or Griffin is my leader...but believe me, you won't like either one of them..."

An alien poked Logan in the side with a space bayonet to shut him up. "Okaaay...shutting up now," Logan murmured.

"The reason we don't look like the others," Jett said, trying to reason, "is because we are wearing Halloween costumes. We don't actually look like this."

"Yeah, we don't really have silver skin," Logan began, wiping a patch off of his face to prove it.

The alien gang drew out light wands and closed in on the two rambling boys. One stepped forward and wiped a streak of silver away from his own cheek. "We don't either, but we put this on to come here. For some reason you beings think we should have siler skin," it said with a bratty attitude.

"Cool light-sabers," Logan squeaked.

"What are light-sabers?" the alien asked. "Never mind that now. Come with us. We are tired of your small talk. Itzen-glock!"

"Wait! We're sorry!" Jett protested, when they pulled him along. "What does itzen-glock mean?" he asked Logan, who just shrugged.

"_Really _sorry!" Logan added.

"SILENCE!"

"We know that word!" Logan said.

They were led to the ship and forced up the steep stairs. Aboard the strange vessel, the two boys were amazed to find the interior cavernous, with seemingly no end to the space. Sterile-looking and cold, it was bathed in an eerie greenish light. Panels of equipment and various blinking buttons lined the vast walls. In the center were two long silver tables.

"Um, well thanks for giving us the tour..." Logan said nervously, trying to backtrack out of the terrifying place.

"Stay, or I will be forced to hurt you!" it said, turning a rather ghoulish-looking face to them. "Do not pizz us off!" it warned, puffing itself up.

"You know, I was just wondering, how do you know English so well?" Logan asked, hoping to stall them from whatever they had planned.

"We have a built-in translator and decoder. It is programmed to translate any language spoken, wherever we land."

"Well, you may want to work on that program ," Jett said sarcastically, "because I'm pretty sure your swear words translator seems to have a glitch-"

Logan jabbed him. "Shhhhh!" he hissed.

"Logan really, did you hear their word for-"

"Silence!" the alien ordered.

"That word translates perfectly!" Logan said. "So...what do you plan on doing to-with us?"

"Collect data," the alien said in its warbly voice.

"And, how exactly do you plan to do that?" Jett asked.

"We will probe your brains and decipher all the memories."

"That sounds painful," Logan said weakly. The alien beings inched them toward the long tables.

"Lie down," it said.

"Can't we get to know each other a little better first," Jett tried. "This seems so awkward for a first date."

"Lie down!" one larger alien barked, giving them each a shove.

"Lying down now!" Logan squealed, scurrying to pull himself up on the high slippery surface of the tabletop.

The alien boosted him up with a bony appendage. They set metal rings around the top of each head and pressed some buttons on a nearby wall. The rings tingled their scalps and vibrated uncomfortably. Jett and Logan exchanged worried looks and closed their eyes in fear.

When Logan opened his eyes, he found several of the aliens observing a screen where they mumbled among themselves, and nodded happily. He couldn't understand the language they were speaking, but they seemed pleased with his scan, nonetheless. One even patted him on the back.

They moved to Jett's screen and stared back at him disapprovingly, even shaking their heads. "_What?"_ Jett asked.

It wasn't long before the scans began to really hurt, and they were pleading for them to remove the apparatuses. "Almost finished," the leader said. "There." He removed the rings. "We have learned much about you."

"And?" Jett prompted.

"And...we know who you both are. Now you must disrobe."

"_**What?!" **_they chorused.

"DIsrobe! We have uncovered the brain's data, now we must examine the accessories."

"And, what exactly might the _accessories_, be?" Logan asked.

"I'm not so sure, that I want your long bony fingers touching my accessories," Jett said, looking at the long three digits that the aliens possessed.

Disregarded and stripped, the boys were bound to the cold metal surface of the tables. Logan blushed up at the aliens surrounding him. "Um...I'm a little cold here, can I at least have a cover?" he squeaked.

"No! We don't understand why you coer yourseles anyway."

"And what are you planning on doing with that?" he heard Jett ask from the table beside him. The alien held a long metal probe.

"You have one of these, like we do," the being said, pointing to a circle in the center of its abdomen.

"A navel?" Logan asked.

"Navel?" the alien echoed. "We call it a wazoo."

"Mmmm-hmmm. When we are in the womb, we feed through it," Logan explained.

"Interesting. We feed through ours too, but what is the womb?"

"Well..." Logan thought of a way to explain, but came up blank. "It has to do with reproduction, but that is a very complicated issue."

"First we will probe your wazoos, er...'navels' as you call them, to see how you digest nutrients, then we will learn how you reproduce."

"Way to go moron," Jett huffed at Logan.

"This navel-probing thing sounds rather painful," Logan said, trembling as he watched the little silver being squeeze a glob of cold goo onto his belly-button.

The probes were like white hot spears of agony searing the very core of their bodies, and they both screamed at the tops of their lungs.

"Pain," stated one of the aliens, very interested in the response they received.

Tears streamed down Logan's cheeks. "Yesssss!" Logan hissed. "Paaaaain!" A more delicate-looking alien, wiped the salty liquid from his cheek and placed it on it's own navel, blinking curiously at him.

Finished with the probes, they removed them and poked bony digits into the sides of their captives. The boys had fits of giggles between bouts of tears, and the aliens "oohed and ahhed" at the reactions. "Pain or pleasure?" the alien asked them.

"Both!" Jett cried. The aliens seemed confused.

"Are we about finished here?" Logan asked cautiously, praying they were. "We really need to back to our friends and all."

"Silence!"

"Right. Can I have some clothes now?" Logan asked.

"We are not quite finished yet. "

"Please tell me there are no more probes," Jett said, turning his head just in time to see the long flexible, fiber-optic probe. "And _where_ might that be headed?"

"Flip them over," the head alien ordered. Turned on their stomachs, Jett and Logan shared a look of terror.

"Wait!" Jett shouted. "I've heard about this! Those wouldn't happen to be anal probes, would they?!"

"No, don't be ridiculous," said the alien.

The boys breathed loud sighs of relief, murmuring their gratitude.

"Duh, these are azz probes," the alien stated calmly. Both boys began to wail.

After what seemed likes hours of probes, touching and pain, the aliens announced that they were finally through with the physical data collection. They handed them their costumes back. "We don't get the spandex jumpsuits and the moon-boots, " one said, "especially not the silver one." Jett rolled his eyes and snatched his.

"Ouchies!" Logan cried, grasping for his clothes.

They all waited patiently for the boys to re-dress. "Now, show us how your people reproduce."

The boys laughed loud forced laughs, and shook their heads. "Yeah, we can't do that." Jett said.

"Why not?" it asked.

" It takes two, to tangle, if you know what I mean. A boy and a girl. We are both boys, and we need a female to reproduce. Besides, even if we did...do the deed," Logan rambled, "it would take nine months to actually produce a baby."

"There are two of you. We are quite capable of speeding up maturation," an alien informed them.

"But-but you don't understand," stammered Jett. "We still have two boys here!"

"Don't you have males, _and _females?" Logan asked.

The aliens all shook their heads. "No, we can choose to be either."

"Oh, well that explains the confusion," Jett said, trying to brush the subject off.

"We want to see you reproduce. Show us," it insisted.

Logan backed away from the glowering aliens. "We can't," he squeaked, placing his hands into the praying position.

"Are you saying two boys _can't_ fuzz one another?" The alien persisted.

"F-fuzz?" Logan repeated.

"Isn't that what you call the act here, on this rock?" the alien asked.

"I think they mean...you know," Jett said, making an obscene gesture. "The glitch," he reminded him.

"Right. Well, not exactly," Logan admitted to the staring crowd, sheepishly lowering his gaze. "But, we definitely **CAN NOT **reproduce!"

"Would you like us to change that?" it asked kindly.

"NOOOO!" they shouted together.

"This talk is getting rather personal," Logan said with a crooked grin. "We don't even know each others names here."

"I am called Aziz," the alien said, and this is Shira who has a major crush on you." He pulled the fragile-looking alien, who had tasted Logan's tears earlier, in front of him. She reached over and removed the rest of the face-paint with a swipe.

"So cute," she said, making a curious giggling sound.

"Wait, are you a girl?" Logan asked, blushing a deep pink and totally embarrassed when he realized that she just saw him completely naked.

She nodded. "She chose to be one," Aziz said. "And, we all know who you both are, already. You are Logan Mitchell and he is Jett Stetson. Two earthling boys."

"How do you know who we are?" Jett asked suspiciously. He allowed another alien to remove his silver face-paint as well.

"There, now we can enjoy your earthling faces. We have your memories, remember? You are the conceited friend of this boy, and he is one of the earthling boy-band BTR. We partake of your music."

"Really? Wow! Friend is a bit of an over-statement, by the way," Logan said glancing at Jett.

"Hey! And, who are you calling conceited?" asked Jett, just catching the derogatory comment.

The tune of _Elevate _suddenly filled the saucer.

"Oh!" Logan jerked in surprise, looking around.

"We also enjoy reading fanfiction about Big Time Rush!" Shira said boldly, then stepped back shyly.

"You do?!" Logan and Jett both asked as one.

"Yep, especially the slash stuff. And, we also ship you two," another alien chimed in. "Go Jettgan!" A few of the others cheered.

"Or Kogan." Loud cheers. "Or Jagan." More cheers. "Or Cargan." Still cheering.

"Oh," said Logan with a casual shrug. "Wait! What?! Why am I in all those?! He asked with a scowl.

"Now fuzz!" an alien insisted.

"That's a bit harsh, we prefer to call it 'make love," Jett said.

"Then make love," an alien said.

"No!" Jett exclaimed.

"Not gonna' happen-" Logan began.

"Now!" the aliens thundered as one, scaring the boys to death.

"Here we go!" Jett cried, grabbing Logan and rubbing his cheek against his while making obnoxious smooching sounds. The aliens just stared.

"Wow, that was great Jett!" Logan said with a forced smile.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to rub other parts together, too?"

"Um...sure. But, we don't do that," Logan whispered quickly, shaking his head, eyes wide.

"Get on top of him," one said to Jett, nudging him with a bayonet. Jett obeyed, nervously looking over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?! Get off of me, Jett!" Logan gasped.

"Act like you're enjoying this!" Jett whisper-yelled. Logan struggled to shove him off.

"If you force him, is it ripe?" an alien asked from behind.

"Ripe? Oh you mean rape?" Jett asked. "Yes, it is."

"Then ripe him. I mean rape him.'

"_What? __**NO!" **_they both cried.

"That would be wrong!" Jett explained.

"Really, really wrong," Logan reiterated.

"But, we want to see how it is done," the head alien said impatiently.

"Then find somebody else! Can't you abduct two other poor guys to fulfill your perverted fantasies?" Logan asked.

The aliens looked rather angry over his outburst. They furrowed their wrinkly silver brows, blinked their black almond-shaped eyes, and crossed their bony arms over their chests.

"Sorry?" Logan squeaked, praying for mercy. Jett grabbed a hold of him, pressing his lips to his fiercely, and forced the tip of his tongue between his lips and teeth. He swirled their tongues together, anchoring Logan in place with the palm of his hand, as he worked the kiss, still watching the aliens with one open eye.

Finally coming up for air, Jett pulled back panting. Logan, completely shocked, just sat open-mouthed and speechless. The aliens cheered.

"How was that?" Jett asked Logan, pompously raking a hand though his bangs.

"**Are you insane?!"** Logan cried, amazed that he was expecting praise for his technique.

"I want to live," Jett whispered huskily, pulling him close to his body in a big bear-hug. Logan slapped at him and pulled away.

"That was epic!" Aziz cheered,. "More!" he demanded, invoking another round of applause from his three-digited cohorts.

"He knows the word 'epic'," Jett said with a snort.

"Don't you have access to the internet, Aziz?" Logan asked irritably. "You can find the answers to all your questions there. If I had my cellphone I could even show you."

"We know all about internet. We have Z-net where we're from. We just wanted to see it done, live." Logan gave him a disapproving glower.

Aziz pulled a razor-thin apparatus from an invisible pocket on his side, and showed it to them. The boys were in awe of the advanced technological gadget.

"Now, _that's_ epic!" Logan said.

"Yeah, I use it to call my mom sometimes. She likes me to check in and stuff."

"Wait. Are you guys...teenagers?" Jett asked.

Aziz looked down guiltily. "Yeah. We kind of took the ship for a spin tonight, without permission," he conceded. "We sort of knew it was Halloween down here, and wanted to see what all the hoopla was about."

"Won't you be in big trouble when you get home, wherever that may be?" Logan asked hopefully.

"Yeah, we're going to be in some deep shizz, but it was so worth it," he said, sounding exactly like a teen-aged earthling. "We're from Zander, by the way."

"So, none of that painful probing was even necessary?!" Jett boomed, growing suddenly angry.

"Oh yeah, it kind of was," Aziz said apologetically. "We totally have an essay due Monday, about earthlings and such, and our teacher is a real son-of-a bizz. So, we kind of had to do it. It's what we do. But hey, I do want to apologize for the shizzy attitudes earlier."

"Apology accepted," said Logan with a smile.

"Yeah, I'm with him. Well, it's been interesting...and extremely painful," Jett added, "but what do you plan to do with us now?"

"Drop you back off in the field," Aziz said.

"Really? That's great!" Logan exclaimed happily.

"Boy, wait until the others hear about this," Jett boasted.

"Oh, you won't remember anything."

"We won't?" Logan asked. "I bet they're all worried about us now. We've been gone for hours. Where do we say we've been?"

"Oh, there won't be a time-lapse either."

"Sweet. Then I guess this is good-bye," said Jett.

"It is, but we'll keep in touch. We are all friends now. Till we meet again," Aziz said, rubbing his three knuckles to each of their five.

"Till we meet again," the boys agreed.

"Um, if we do meet again, will it be under less _painful _circumstances?" Logan asked with a grimace.

Aziz laughed, "I can't promise that, but I can say that you won't remember the probing afterward."

"Deal," Logan said with a chuckle.

The ship descended in the field and bounced about on its cushion of air. "I think I'm actually getting the hang of this!" Aziz said proudly, bringing the ship to a standstill.

Jett and Logan laughed. The door rose, and the alien beings walked the boys out. "Take care!" they called.

"You too! Be careful!" Shira stood shyly on the steps, eying her crush.

Shouldn't you give her a good-bye kiss or something?" Jett asked Logan, elbowing him in the ribs.

"I don't know how to kiss an alien, Jett! How do they even kiss?" Logan asked in a squeaky voice.

"Okay then, we'll just have to give them what they want." He grabbed Logan and dipped him back, pressing his lips to his, as they stood in the beam of light. The aliens whistled and cheered from the open door.

"GO JETTGAN!"

"Jett!" Logan scolded. "What the-"

"FUZZ!" Jett finished, filling in the blank. Logan shook his head and laughed. "It's the least we can do for them Logan, since they let us live and all."

Within moments of the saucer disappearing into darkness, the boys heard voices nearby. It was as if they had never been gone, and they had no memory of the UFO whatsoever.

"I hear them all up there! Come on Jett, before they leave without us!" Logan urged.

"Let's go!" Jett said. They scurried back to the hill and Jett gave Logan a boost up. "Ow, my belly-button really hurts!" he said.

"That's odd, mine does too," Jett said rubbing his jaw.

"And I have a terrible headache," Logan whined.

"So do I!" Jett exclaimed.

"There you guys are!" Kendall said, spotting the silver suit Jett wore. "Are you guys all right? Those jerks almost hit us!"

"I know!" Jett said. "They were probably aiming for you!"

"Ha ha!" Kendall retorted."What happened to all your silver face-paint?" They shrugged, baffled as to what may have removed it..

The boys fell in line with Carlos, James, and Kendall, still feeling a bit disoriented and confused. They were quiet.

"Hurry up slow-pokes!" Katie said, nudging from behind.

"OW! My butt hurts!" they both complained at the same time, turning to face one another in surprise.

"Ew! You guys should really keep that information to yourselves!" Katie said with disgust.

Camille was staring up at the sky as they walked along. Logan put his arm through hers. She turned to smile at him. "I was just thinking that I wish I could see a UFO some day. That would be so cool."

"It would," Logan said with a big grin. "But, you'll just have to settle for an extra-terrestrial tonight."

**If anyone has a crazy pairing they'd like to see together for a Christmas one-shot, I just may be interested. Please let me know in a review! ;) BTW it won't need to be slash! I just found Jett arrogant enough to believe he could impress the aliens by kissing Logan. LOL.**

**Happy Halloween!**

**Crumpet**


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